Day 2: CHI--NE "Concrete gonads and Nebraska saves the bidet"

#GoGoGonadMeditation

If you're wondering what it's like to drive across the massive prepubescent flat chest of America, we have two words for you: concrete gonads. 

We got on the road around 9:30am and began cruising into the great American Midwest. We made a quick pit stop at the "World's Largest Truck Stop" and almost decided to turn back home, knowing we'd seen the pinnacle of breathtaking beauty that we'd encounter on the entire trip. 

Can someone please fact-check that this is, indeed, the world's largest truck stop? I remain unconvinced.

Shortly thereafter, Liz came up with a darling car song that entertained us for longer than we care to admit:

The monotony of cornfields quickly led us to Google some Iowa Interstate 80 attractions and we had the following options to chose from: birthplace of Captain Kirk, Star Trek museum, 30-foot tall massive bull sculpture. The choice was an obvious one. 

With a 20-mile off-highway jaunt through rolling hills and unending farmland (on dirt roads with Liz sticking out the sunroof), we found the Holy Grail. Albert the bull was a truly majestic beast; a hidden gem in the Heartland. Here's an excerpt of the description of him: "Albert, the World's Largest Bull, has been guarding the peaceful streets of Audubon since 1964...He also has baby blue eyes and giant concrete gonads."

Let me tell you, those gonads did not disappoint. 

(Prince) Albert himself

The (Prince) Albert side trip cost us about an hour of time on an already 11-hour journey. North Platte, Nebraska's roadside Super 8 looked like a heavenly beacon when we finally pulled in at 10pm CST.  

Liz's hair was definitely feeling the effects of the 12+ hour day...

*Random fact of the day/question to blog readers: Apparently Nebraska is a truck stop mecca as rest area/gas stations are completely tricked out. We discovered piles of hot chicken fingers next to a display of fuzzy cow socks (but restrained from purchasing neither finger nor sock) and made a stunning discovery in the bathroom. A BIDET. This is not a joke. Who would've thought that Odessa, NE is killin' it with bougie butt fountains? Blog-readers, would you use a bidet at a truck stop in Nebraska?!?

WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!

Bed time, FINALLY. Tomorrow, onward to the mountains.