Straight Trippin': Days 11 & 12: San Luis Obispo, Solvang, Santa Barbara "No Work and SLO Play...Ensures We Don't Become Dull Boys Named Jack"

It's been a whirlwind few days as we made our way through the central coast!

Day 11: Cambria, Hearst Castle, San Luis Obispo

The morning begins with Kat and Liz were happily resting in bed watching the Olympics, and Kat glances over to Liz snuggled in her sherpa drug-rug questionably-hooded sweatshirt, quietly murmuring to herself: “Usain….usain….no I’m sane." Don't give up on those Olympic dreams yet, Lizard.

We saw the coast today and Big Sur was foggy yet gorgeous.

Liz really making a strong attempt to see the sights...from her sloth tree

Driving up toward Hearst Castle in San Simeon we realized we were actually in the Serengeti:

Oh wait W.R. Hearst was just rich AF and had a private zoo so now zebras graze in Cali

A visit to Hearst Castle led us to conclude that we actually hate human beings. The main message on our tour of this unreal mansion was "you can take pics but please leave the flash off." This message was repeated upwards of 10 times. How many times can a safari-hat-and-button-down-leaf-shirt clad fanny pack tourist point his Nikon at fragile antiquities and take pics with the flash on?? The answer is: more times than you would believe. Aside from the nincompoops, the tour of the grounds and castle was super cool. Essentially it was a step into Gatsby's house and we saw pictures of all the Hollywood stars of the 20s and 30s partying here, which was awesome. Liz was extremely disappointed however to learn that no part of the house or grounds was haunted.

Indoor Roman pools...where celebs met up for late night rendezvous

Yas kween

Straight up Spain

Pool under construction due to 5,000+ gallon/day leakage...bummer

Doesn't everyone feed lambs corn naked?

Just your average dining room

You can't Label us...except when you use a label maker.

We spent the night at an adorable Airbnb that was literally in a garden outside of San Luis Obispo. It was a really cute space except upon looking closer we noticed EVERYTHING was labeled. It was no joke -- some serious big brother is watching type ish. Here were some examples of the copious labels around the place:

"Turn on for light" (next to light switch)

"Turn right for cold turn left for hot do not pass 9 or 3 o'clock" (shower faucet that didn't turn past 9 or 3 o'clock even if you tried)

"Use towelettes for makeup not white washcloths, linens are expensive to replace"

Moral of the story is that there should have just been a huge label saying "please don't use anything at all."

The lady that owned that place was very sweet, but our first encounter with her is unforgettable. We shall call it the "cat itch story."

Catlady: "Hi so glad you made it!"

Cat in doorway: "Meow"

Catlady: "Oh don't mind him. That's my indoor kitty. Except he has a rare skin condition where he gets patches of itchy skin and when you pet him he goes crazy and has a seizure and then he loses bladder control."

Us: "....."

Catlady: "Who would ever be a dog person?!"

Kathryn: "Me"

Catlady: "...."

Day 12: San Luis Obispo, wine country, Solvang, Santa Barbara

We're really coming up in the world. We went to an amazing candlelight yoga class last night, and put nutrition in our bodies this morning:

Pure health

Sipping fancy wines (not fancy bread):

All of the feels all of the tannins

We learned how to sext while sipping wine

We like to offer a helping hand to local vintners

Speaking of fancy bread, she's on her last legs. Tomorrow we will finish her. She's been a strong, beautiful lady. We will miss her. Idaho gas station, you did us right.

After hitting a few wineries, Kathryn made the fatal error of attempting to paint her toenails semi-buzzed in a moving vehicle:

In a traffic jam, with faulty wet wipes, and no sympathy from Liz

Many puns occurred in SLO county. Like Kathryn feeling right at home at the SLO children's museum:

Please sir, I'd like some more

SLO wine...and progressively SLOWer commentary from Liz, the newest master sommelier:

"I like wine"

~5 min elapse~

"I like wineries"

~5 more min elapse~

"I love wine"

We stopped in a quaint little town, Solvang, dropped from the Netherlands right into California. We ended up solvang America's political crisis: pastries for president.